Are you land locked but crave getting barreled by a big blue wave? Grab a friend and your skateboard, head to Home Depot and get a big blue tarp. Just like that, it’s on.

Joe Garden is a writer for the The Onion who owns many, many t-shirts. Apparently he has too many t-shirts, so he’s started a blog in an effort to allow the masses to help him weed out his collection. Each day he posts a new t-shirt and visitors to his site are able to vote whether he keeps the shirt or not.

We’re hoping he starts replacing some of his terrible tees with some of our amazing t-shirts.

You can visit his site here.

We don’t know if this exchange is true, actually assume it’s not, but don’t really care in the end because it’s awesome. A friend of the program who sent us the link summed it up best with a concise, “Graphic designers are dicks.”

Enjoy. At the end there is a link to what may be an unabridged version…either way it is a good read.

This isn’t necessarily a Missing Missy tribute tee, but the cat in our recent release, Cat’s Eyes, bears a startling, even uncanny resemblance….less the little red derby, of course.

No Star, a long time proponent of manly facial hair, is proud to announce our support of Andrew Huston in his quest for the Best Beard in the World. Andrew will be representing No Star as he competes in the World Beard and Mustache Championships on June 5 in his home town of Bend, OR. We wish him luck, but with a beard like his, we doubt he’ll need it.

Like this: http://www.bigassmessage.com/3e9e3

We just discovered this site and can’t stop sending out big ass messages. Post your favorite big ass message as a comment to this post and you might just win a free t-shirt.

Go to http://www.bigassmessage.com to make your own message.

Pretty funny list of 9 reasons why not to date a dinosaur.

We’d like to go ahead and add our own to the list.

#10. Dinosaurs always get bummed when you use fossil fuels.

Wow. We feel like taking a shower just for typing that.

This Cold Steel™, Two-handed Great Sword infomercial is so undeniable* we couldn’t help but pass it along. Who are we, after all, to stand between you and  ”flick, flick, flick” 6 lbs of pig-slicing cold steel?

“Sure it’s big, but there’s nothing awkward or clumsy about this sword”…just our host. Majesty?? Efficiency? Efficiently accomplishing what, exactly? I don’t want to ruin the ending for you. Actually, I can’t. I haven’t made it that far yet. This is 9+ minutes of medieval, movie-making magick. (medieval, except when they are stabbing barrels of oil in the parking lot, obviously outside on lunch break from their shitty office jobs, and trying really hard not to pretend they’re actually stabbing that over-officious prick Tom from HR.)

*By undeniable, we mean equal parts entertaining, fascinating and, eventually, gruesome. If you are squeamish, please stop watching at the 1:30 mark…before the pig face gets sliced, diced and replayed in super slow-mo. Honestly, what a bizarre selling point. I guess, when you buy the two-handed pork sword, you can break it out at your next World of Warcraft themed Luau and, well, WoW the crowd, if you will. Epic boots are sold separately.

Maybe it’s just us, but when we read this story about someone firebombing medical marijuana centers in Billings, visions of firefighters both fighting this blaze and (with at least equal gusto) fanning these flames and being careful to breathe very deeply came to mind.

But we are cynics. Undoubtedly, while fighting this fire to the best of their abilities, these public employees would have done everything humanly possible to ensure there were enough Doritos and pizza to go around.

Nylon Guys recently featured our Big Bear T-Shirt. Pretty rad.

Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, a “hard-line” Iranian cleric, came out this week (well, didn’t come out come out) and proclaimed that women who dress provocatively and tempt people into promiscuity are to blame for the world’s recent, devastating earthquakes. He says, “When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase.”

We think perhaps this may be the origins of, “If this trailer’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.”

We think, too, that someone must be lying…or had better check his facts. After all, Pat Robertson was pretty convinced (if not convincing) that Haiti had it coming after they signed a deal with the devil to help them out with the French a while back. Pat says, “True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

We kind of always thought the French were the devil, and are now totally confused.

We don’t mean that. Some our best friends are French. Or used to be. Used to be our best friends, not used to be French. We’re pretty sure they’re still French. And they have to live with that.

So, is it easy girls in short skirts, or ill-advised pacts with Lucifer (and/or the French)? We’re just not really sure where to side on this one.

But we do know we did a tee with a really cute, if mustachioed, French kid on the slide a few seasons ago that is kind of awesome.

A few years back, in a remote Central Oregon wood, on a cold, snowy April morning, the No Star family attempted to start an Easter tradition. We admit it didn’t quite take, yet, but have hopes to resurrect The Great Easter Keg hunt in the near future. This video is short documentary of the Easter Keg hunt…which rapidly devolved into the LumberJack-Off ‘06. It is action-packed, has a great soundtrack and features full-grown men in full-grown bunny outfits.

No Star Easter Keg Hunt from No Star on Vimeo.

Relive your favorite moments and settle all arguments with this movie-clip-search-engine-and-database, no kidding, at Anyclip.com.

At the very least, it is a good way to while away the last work hour on a Friday afternoon.

Admittedly, we’re not entirely sure how it works…but the idea seems cool.

Our friends over at Philavania sent us this amazing post about Roller Coaster Chess. The concept is simple, yet brilliant. Simply fasten chess pieces to the board, sneak it onto a roller coaster, and pose for the camera mid-ride while they take your picture. Don’t limit yourself to Chess though. Try Connect Four, Scrabble, Backgammon, or if you really want to push the envelope try Asshole (might have to cover your beer with Saran Wrap).

Learn more at: Know Your Meme

All of us at the No Star HQ love this video. Maybe you will too.

Throughout our storied, if unremarkable, history, No Star has had a semi-fascinating run of prophetic t-shirt designs. It seems that every couple seasons we debate pulling a shirt from the lineup as it too closely parallels real-life, real-crappy events. We had our “Big Bucks. No Whammies” tee we scrapped after 9/11 as it depicted people assuming the crash position on an airline safety card.

We had the controversial “Tornadoes Love Trailers” shirt that coincided with Katrina. We decided that though hurricanes and tornadoes share many qualities, not the least of which being sustained gale-force winds, they are not synonymous and one would not be mistaken for the other at a social gathering. We printed the shirt, and, ironically, ended up donating hundreds of those very tees to the displaced and shirtless victims of Katrina. We should have cut our tags out.

A few years back, No Star also had the “Mt. St. Helens Blows” tee. That one was more of a close call than anything really. If we had designed a shirt that said “Mt. St. Helens Steams and Burps Ash for a Month and then Goes Back to Sleep”, now that would have been eerie.

Now, we have this….Killer Whale. Ugh. We don’t really think it is right to keep 13,000 pound animals in swimming pools, nor are we proponents arming and tattooing them. That said, what happened at Seaworld was undeniably tragic.